That Girl
by Joe Fenton
Summary: Since no one read my dark story, I'm trying something light. It's warm! It's fuzzy! Now with 75 percent more fluff!


Harry Potter is the property of Warner Brothers and J. K. Rowling.

* * *

That Girl  
Chapter 1: You Always Hurt the One You Love  
by Joe Fenton

* * *

We are all familiar with the story of Harry Potter, whose parents were killed by Lord Voldemort and was sent to live with his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. There he spent ten miserable years until his eleventh birthday whereupon he learned of his heritage as a wizard and started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He would face many trials and become a great wizard, eventually defeating Lord Voldemort. 

But what if something occurred - some change that altered the flow of history. Observe now the story of Harriet Potter, whose parents were killed by Lord Voldemort and was sent to live with her Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. There she spent ten miserable years until her eleventh birthday whereupon she learned of her heritage as a witch and started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She would face many trials and become a great witch, eventually defeating Lord Voldemort.

What? Not quite? Oh, right... it seems that in life, you run into many different double-standards. Some good, some bad. It's seems that Harriet ran across on her first day of school. Let's go take a look...

* * *

Mr. Vankirk sneered as the latest batch of students filed into the class. Discipline was sorely lacking these days. Parents just let their spoiled brats run wild. Well, not in _his_ class. He ruled with an iron fist. He'd beat the individuality out of these little couch potatoes, even if it killed them. There was one boy with skinned knees, another with an arm in a sling, and yet another with a black eye... all obviously hooligans. What was _this_? A boy with perfectly clean clothes - even a little bow tie. Obviously spoiled beyond redemption. He'd have to ride this boy extra hard to instill proper discipline after the lax nature in which the boy was _obviously_ raised. 

His eyes widened as he saw the next student enter. He leapt across his desk, straight-armed the well groomed boy out of his way (and right into the wall next to the door), and gently took the arm of the girl. He shifted her left sleeve up slightly, exposing a small bruise.

"_What monster would do this to a little girl_?" He practically had tears in his eyes as he asked her, "Pray tell, sweet child - who is responsible for your dire injures?"

The little girl was puzzled and a little frightened by the teacher's behavior. Not to mention, she didn't understand about half of what he just said, but she figured he was talking about her arm.

"Uncle Vernon grabbed me after I wrote on some of his papers and broke his lucky pen."

The teacher pulled the girl into a tight hug as she struggled to breathe. "The _fiend_! The _brute_!" He was actually crying by this time. "I'll make sure he _never_ hurts you again!"

A small, muffled voice was heard as the boy peeled himself off the wall. "... I'm okay..."

The teacher threw the door open wide, smashing the little boy back into the wall.

"... I - I'm - okay..."

The little girl in his arms, he dashed down to the nurse's office. Later that day, a social worker and about a dozen of Surrey's finest converged on Number 4, Privet Drive. When they discovered the little girl had been sleeping in a cupboard, well - you really don't want to know what happened then. No. Seriously. You _really_ don't want to know. Well, I'll just say it involved some rope, several blackjacks, and a cattle prod.

A few days later found the little girl in the home of Grace and William Cooper, a couple who were unable to have children and had been trying for years to adopt a child. Nightfall found her wearing a new flannel nightgown, tucked into a large and comfortable bed, and hugging a large stuffed toy. Say, a teddy bear or some other such toy. Her new mummy read her a story about the little girl abused by an evil and fat villain, only to find that she was actually a princess, and the king and queen had finally found her and brought her back home where she would be showered with love and affection. The evil and fat villain was duly punished and regretted ever hurting the beautiful little princess.

* * *

So Harriet Potter spent five wonderful years until her eleventh birthday whereupon she learned of her heritage as a witch and started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She would face many trials and become a great witch, eventually defeating Lord Voldemort. 

What _now_? Hmm? Oh - the blood protection her aunt provided... well, it turned out it wasn't needed. See, by the time Harriet moved in with the Coopers, most all the nasty and bad wizards and witches had been gathered up by the Ministry and sent to Azkaban. Just in case, Dumbledore cast a ward on the house to prevent Apparating directly to or from the premises. There was the occasional dark wizard who managed to elude capture and sought vengeance on the little girl. Let's check back at the Cooper's a couple years later.

* * *

The filthy and obviously insane man had managed to force open the door. 

"_Where is Harry Potter_? _Tell me or you die_!"

"Leave my mum alone!" Harriet came up behind him with one of her dad's gold clubs.

The golf club struck the crazy person on the back of his knees, buckling his legs. He tried to turn and point his little stick toward the girl who promptly smashed his arm with the club. The little stick slid across the room. While he crawled over to it and struggled to his feet, Grace grabbed one of her two-kilo jogging hand weights. As the intruder turned, she punched him in the gut, leaving him gasping for breath.

"Yay, Mum! Give him another!"

Cheered on, the middle-aged housewife protecting her child swung a left hook which, due to the weight clutched in said hand, spun the dark wizard around three times, teeth flying every which way. Harriet would later make a bracelet out of the teeth. As he lay on the floor unconscious, little Harriet kicked him a couple times.

"That'll teach to mess with my mum!" She kicked him again.

"Harriet! Get away from him! The police will be over shortly." She frowned and kicked the man once herself. No one threatened her little girl.

So the Coopers made a few changes for added security, and things went smoothly enough afterwards.

* * *

So Harriet Potter spent three more wonderful years until her eleventh birthday whereupon she learned of her heritage as a witch and started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She would face many trials and become a great witch, eventually defeating Lord Voldemort. 

Oh, for the love of Pete! What _now_? Oh... really? Heh... well, it seems that Grace Cooper never _had_ a sister who turned out to be a witch and went to Hogwarts and married a wizard and had a child only to be killed by an evil, dark wizard and wound up raising said child as her own. Go figure. Anyhow, while the Coopers felt themselves to be _open-minded_, this meant that however strange something might seem, there was a sound, _scientific_ explanation for it... even if science hadn't quite gotten around to figuring out what that was.

So when an owl arrived bearing letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Coopers had a good laugh at the joke played by one of Harriet's many _many_ wonderful friends. After several owls arrived bearing letters from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Coopers frowned and blamed it on one of Harriet's rare, and generally jealous, enemies. Say, that delinquent dufus, Dudley Dursley, who still blamed Harriet for what happened to his father years back. When _dozens_ of owls arrived bearing letters from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Coopers did what any rational, modern, tax-paying citizen of the realm would do.

* * *

"They _what_?" Minerva McGonagall was shocked, to say the least. 

"They called something referred to by the muggle government as _animal control_." Albus Dumbledore was vexed, to say the least. It had been rather embarrassing, having to rescue most of the Hogwarts post owls from the Little Whinging animal shelter before they could be euthanized. "It seems that a letter is insufficient. We shall have to go and retrieve Harriet in person."

* * *

Attempt #1

"What _were_ you thinking, Hagrid?"

Said half-giant sat across from the headmaster, both arms in slings, the right side of his face swollen and purple, a pair of black eyes, and most of his hair singed off.

"Well, you see Professor Dumbledore sir -" As he spoke, several teeth were noticeably missing. "I were thinkin' who better an go after Harry then meself, having rescued her as a baby and all."

"That was ten years ago. I doubt Harriet remembers you at all. Did you not think your presence might - upset them?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"It were obvious that 'er folks were preventin' Harry from gettin' 'er letters. All I'd do is scare 'em a little, and off me and Harry'd go." He frowned. "I'd no sooner knocked down - er - _on_ the door then the family scuttles away into this room in the back. Let me tell ya - this door weren't a budgin' either."

Dumbledore made a mental note to look into this idea of a panic room. Amazing what the muggles managed without magic.

Hagrid continued his tale. "Suddenly, there's all these muggles in funny costumes a yellin' at me and hittin' me with these clubs." He waved a bandaged arm. "They weren't nothin'. But then they used these boxes that threw out lightnin' on wires." He puffed up with pride. "Well, I showed 'em, I did. It took near two dozen to take me down! They'll not soon forget the name Rubeus Hagrid!"

Albus buried his face in his hands. It certainly _had_ taken a lot to make them forget that name... and the incident in question. The Ministry had given him an earful. "I shall send someone else to speak with the Coopers. You need to head down to the infirmary and let Madam Pomfrey treat those injuries."

* * *

Attempt #2

Minerva sat in the Cooper's living room, sipping tea with Grace and William. "We're dreadfully sorry about that whole mess. Rubeus means well, but sometimes doesn't think about the consequences of his actions."

The Cooper's exchanged a glance... and a smirk.

William took sip of his own tea. "So - Minerva was it? You're a witch?"

She nodded. "Yes, and Harriet is one as well. She needs to learn who and what she is. Hogwarts is the finest school of magic in all of Europe. Her parents were students there as well."

Grace tried to stifle a giggle. "Excuse me." She took a sip of tea. "So... our little Harriet will learn magic?"

McGonagall nodded.

Grace smiled. "I suppose she'll learn to ride a broom, and wear robes and a tall, pointed hat?"

McGonagall nodded again. "You seem to know quite a bit about magic already." She smiled. "I should think it won't be any trouble then allowing Harriet to attend?"

* * *

Snape was smiling. Not exactly a friendly smile, but not quite an I-ate-your-baby-and-enjoyed-it smile either. It was, of all things, a smile of utter joy. As if nothing were wrong in the entire world. Had there been any students at Hogwarts, they would be presently throwing themselves from the parapets of the house towers. 

Minerva sat in the headmasters office. Snape stood a little behind her, trying not to laugh.

"It was _awful_, Albus! They made me wear this awful jacket and put me in a padded cell." She dabbed her eyes with a tissue as Snape was biting his hand to keep silent. "They - they called me a _senile old bat_!"

Severus couldn't take any more and stumbled out of the headmaster's office. He made it as far as the bottom of the stairs before he started braying laughter. He fell to his knees against a wall and started pounding it with a fist as he laughed for the first time in decades. He eventually pushed himself upright and staggered off to his office, laughing so hard he could hardly stay upright.

If the smile was bad enough, the laughter was terrifying. The house elves would use the tale of that laughter to scare little house elves for years to come.

* * *

Attempt #3

Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, stood outside the house as the Coopers stood at the doorway. The Coopers looked a bit shocked as the house was currently sitting on a small island in the middle of an ocean.

"You see? Magic is _undeniably_ real. Harriet has a destiny to fulfill, and _must_ attend Hogwarts. Grave misfortune awaits us all if Harriet isn't prepared to face what is to be." Albus was playing it to the hilt. These people _had_ to learn the gravity of the situation.

William rubbed his chin. "I don't know - I saw someone make Big Ben disappear last year on the Telly."

Dumbledore face faulted, then vowed to quit watching Japanese animation in his crystal ball. He waved an arm. "Feel free to explore. Ascertain for yourselves whether this is an illusion."

Mr. Cooper wandered down to the beach. "Maybe I'd be convinced if there were a barbecue pit here... with some nice porterhouse steaks."

Albus waved his wand.

William grinned. "Of course, what good's a barbecue without a pint?"

Albus sighed, then waved his wand again.

William frowned at the bottle. "Better than that."

Harriet wandered over. "Oy! How's about a Coke?" She frowned at the Pepsi suddenly in her hand. "I said _Coke_! Maybe you magic folk should teach English as well as magic at yer school."

Hours later...

Albus sighed wearily. "Are you sure there isn't something else I can do while I'm at it? Fur coat? Crates of jewels perhaps?"

Mr. Cooper rolled his eyes. "Enough already! We already agreed to let Harry go to yer school. Just take us back."

Albus waved his wand, and the house was once more back in Little Whinging.

William frowned. "I would swear the house was facing East this morning."

Albus growled a little and waved his wand. The house turned ninety degrees on the lot.

Grace came over and put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "I think he had it right the first time, Dear. It faced the other way."

Albus ground his teeth and waved his wand again.

William frowned and glanced over at his wife. "Are you sure? I could almost swear when I open the door in the morning, I'm looking at the sun."

She frowned. "Well..."

* * *

Albus groaned from his bed in the infirmary. Minerva gave him a glare. 

"What on Earth were you thinking, Albus? Straining yourself in that manner."

Albus was not in the best mood. "_Well it worked, didn't it_? Harry Potter will be in Hogwarts this next term."

Madam Pomfrey frowned at her patient. "First Hagrid, now you, Albus. What is with you all this year?"

Dumbledore ground his teeth in frustration.

* * *

So Harriet Potter _finally_ learned of her heritage as a witch and started attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She would face many trials and become a great witch, eventually defeating Lord Voldemort. 

What? Look, I've just about had it up to here... okay already. I guess there is a little more we can cover. Let's take a look at Harry's first visit to Diagon Alley... just the highlights mind you.

* * *

Hagrid was ecstatic. "Really? You'll let me take Harry to Diagon Alley to get 'er things fer school?" 

Dumbledore looked sour. "Well, there's no way in hell I'm -" he cut off as he caught Minerva's frown. "Er, yes, Hagrid. I also have another stop for you to make as well." He handed the giant a slip of paper.

Hagrid beamed. "Don't you worry none, Professor. I'll take good care a Harry, I will!"

* * *

Hagrid tapped the stones in a particular order. The bricks rearranged themselves to leave an opening. Hagrid stepped through and waved expansively. "Welcome to Diagon Alley, Harry!" 

Harriet frowned. "Not exactly Herod's now, is it?"

"What were that Harry?"

Harriet wrinkled her nose. "What's that _smell_?"

Hagrid thought about it. "Probably the apothecary shop." He led the way toward a large building. "Let's stop and get some money first."

About ten minutes later...

Harriet looked embarrassed. "Sorry about that, Hagrid. I guess riding in that - whatever it is - doesn't agree with my stomach."

Hagrid fought to keep calm has he tried to scrape the worst of it off his coat. "No worries, Harry. I didn't like it none meself."

Outside Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions...

Harriet pulled on Hagrid's arm. "You have to come in and give me a hand."

Hagrid frowned. He wanted to go get Harriet a birthday present. "All right, but only a minute mind you."

Ten minutes and twenty outfits later...

"Does this make me look fat?" Harriet frowned and twirled in front of the mirror.

Hagrid sighed. "No, Harry. You look just fine."

An hour and one hundred fifty-three outfits later...

"Does this make me look fat?"

Hagrid growled, but managed to speak in a even voice. "No, Harry. You look just fine."

Three hours and five hundred two outfits later...

"Does this make me look fat?"

"_YES_! _It makes you look like a bloody WHALE_! I were about to go find me a harpoon!" Hagrid stopped his raving as he looked at the little girl. Her eyes were as big as saucers, and tears threatened to start spilling. She looked more like a kicked puppy that the kicked puppy Hagrid had rescued a week ago.

He slapped a hand over his face. When he looked again, her bottom lip was quivering. "I'm sorry, Darlin'. I guess I'm just a bit tired and stiff after sittin' here so long. I didn't mean it. You look fantastic." He hooked a thumb toward the door. "I'm goin' to go get yer somethin' - you just wait here with Malkin." He practically ran for the door. Hagrid figured he could make it up to her by getting that present now.

Present #1...

"Here you go, Harry! Ain't she a beauty!" Hagrid held up a cage with a snow-white owl.

"A _bird_? You must be kidding!"

Present #2...

"Here you go, Harry." Hagrid held the cat at arms length, sneezing occasionally.

"It'll get fur all over my robes!"

Present #3...

Hagrid held the toad out.

Harriet just glared.

"Right... what were I thinkin'?"

Present #4...

Hagrid held out a cage... holding the same bird as the first time.

Harriet squealed. "It's wonderful! Thank you Hagrid!"

Hagrid banged his head against the wall repeatedly.

Hours later, Hagrid stumbled behind Harriet, his arms loaded with packages. "Aren't we through yet, Harry?"

Harriet frowned and looked over the letter - and the six pages of other items she had added to the list. She scanned through them twice. "Just got to get a wand."

Hagrid sighed. "Thank _God_!"

They entered Ollivander's. Hagrid about cried tears of joy when one wand responded to Harriet.

"Does it come in pink? You know, it looks like a stick as it as. Can you add little wings and a big heart to the top?"

Hagrid about cried tears of frustration.

* * *

Harriet skipped ahead of Hagrid, who was having trouble seeing around all the packages. 

"I can't wait to call Stacey!"

Hagrid frowned - not that Harriet could see his expression. "Here now, you can't be goin' and tellin' yer friends any o' this."

Harriet stopped and pouted. "Why not? We tell each other _everything_!"

Hagrid sighed. "It be the law. Muggles can't be knowin' that magic are real." He ran into the house as he couldn't see where he was going. It took him a moment to find the doorbell.

Grace answered the door to find a huge pile of packages with feet. "Hagrid? Where's Harriet?"

Hagrid dumped the boxes to the side and shoved Harriet through the door. He spoke through clenched teeth. "Take her... now."

The phone rang at that moment. Harriet raced over to it. "I got it!" She picked up the receiver. "Stacey? You'll never guess! I'm going to magic school! You've got to come over and see my magic wand!"

Hagrid shook his head and turned away. "I didn't hear that... nope, didn't hear _nothin_'!"

_End Chapter 1_

* * *

Author's Notes: All right! We're cooking with gas now! Next time, Harry heads on off to Hogwarts. More fun and games ahead! Why did I write this? Well, I've read several Harry as a girl type fanfics. Don't you get tired of everything being _exactly_ the same, despite Harry being a girl? Don't you think _something_ would be different? Well, it's definitely different in this story, and if you find it mildly amusing, all the better! 


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